Will you be queen for a day?

The answer should be no. A wedding is not a coming out party. If you want to be queen for a day, then be a debutante, or throw yourself a birthday party. A wedding is so much more complicated than a celebration of one pretty girl. 

The guests are not your audience. The groom is not your co-star. The bridesmaids are not your back-up singers. It is not your day. This day belongs to the traditions and mix of cultures that have brought two families together. This day belongs to the circle of people who have walked with you as you have matured to a point where you are ready to make a promise to take care of someone else for the rest of your life. Participants in this ancient ritual are those who, before this moment, kept your company so you were never alone. This day belongs to those who observed, tested, approved of, and finally decided to give you graciously to the one person in the world who has decided to take care of you until you die. This day is about the circle of his friends who have also deemed you worthy to make the same declaration to him; Those who think you are actually qualified to take care of him for the rest of his life.   

Have you been to weddings where the “It’s All About Me” bride puts her guests outside, in direct sunlight, at 2pm, on an August afternoon in Alabama? Have you been to that wedding where no food or drink is offered until the bride is ready to make her grand entrance?  Have you seen brides make selfish demands of her family and friends, all in order to ensure her wedding day is all about her? It’s not pretty.

A wedding is a microcosm of a marriage. During your marriage, as during your wedding, you and your husband will have opportunities to offer hospitality to out of town guests, who may only be important to other people in your life.  During your marriage, as with your wedding, you and your husband will need a lot of help from your friends. During your marriage, as during your wedding, you will have to consider what is important to your husband’s mother, brother, grandmother, best friend and co-workers.  During your marriage, as during your wedding, you will be surrounded by the people you have chosen.

On your wedding day you will look gorgeous. You will be wearing one of the most beautiful gowns you’ll ever own. You will be surrounded by people wanting to bring you what ever you need. You will feel like a queen on your wedding day!  You will not be a queen, though; You will be a bride. But like a queen, you will be part of something much larger than yourself, and you will have obligations to those surrounding you.  Obligations you will hold during your wedding and marriage alike. As romantic and rewarding as it will be, marriage will also one of the most difficult journeys of your life. It will take a lot of maturity to make your marriage (and your wedding) work.  Kids in pre-school play “Queen-For-A-Day.” Grown women realize that queens have tremendous obligations to their subjects.  Yes, you will feel like a queen on your wedding day. Make sure, though, you’re the kind of queen people lovingly talk about for centuries, rather than the kind who says, “Let them eat cake!” then gets her pretty little head cut off.